My Pure Joy: Ready for Spring

Where have I been? Truthfully, I’ve been right here, but unable to write it all down. Oh where to begin…

On September 18^th I received a call from my mom that my dad had a massive stroke and was in the hospital. I flew home that night (to WA state.) I spent the next two weeks in hospital rooms and then a hospice facility, waiting for the inevitable and getting to know my family better than ever before. My dad would have loved all the attention. In the end, he took his last breath surrounded by family, his bride of 65 years, my mom, by his side. It was truly a peaceful and beautiful moment. As she says, “it was a good death…”

Then I spent the next week trying to help my mom begin this new life, which meant a lot of paperwork. And a lot of phone calls. So much confusion and anxiety for her. I did my best to help, but truthfully, I didn’t know all that needed to be done. But, she got through it.

When I returned to my home, I panicked a little. My mom spent most of her life as a homemaker, so her income always depended on my dad’s. And, she went through a little rigmarole to get things straightened out. She also took a huge cut regarding income. I started freaking out about what would happen to me if something happened to my husband. And luckily a friend had an entry level, full-time position open. I took it, eager to go back into the working world! About 2-weeks in, my panic turned to exhaustion as I tried to juggle everything I did as a homemaker and now a full-time employee. I failed miserably. I yelled a lot. My husband took on so much that he was exhausted. And finally I asked my family how they felt about this new life. They were miserable too. My son said, “I liked it better when you didn’t yell.” Six weeks into the job, I quit. I’ll figure the rest out later.

I started the New Year with a plan to get my mind, body, and spirit in order. I started eating healthier and exercising – running, slowly, but running nonetheless – and I feel better! My mom came to visit for a month. Testing the waters to see if she’d like to move down here. She liked it. More on that later. But, while she was here, her home was broken into. Only four months after her husband dies, her home of 30 years has been violated. And once again, she has to get paperwork in order. Accounts are frozen, she has to deal with an insurance company. She has proven to me that she’s the strongest woman I know. I only hope to be half the woman she is when I grow up.